October 29, 2013
"The Joy Emanates from Everybody Here" – Interview with Holy Cross Monastery’s Mother Theodora

 

On Sunday, September 29, with the diocesan Media Office correspondent Reader Gregory Levitsky was given an interview with Nun Theodora of Nativity of the Mother of God Convent at Holy Cross Monastery in Wayne, WV. With the blessing of the monastery’s abbot, His Grace, Bishop George, Mother Theodora (as the monastery’s guests and brethren lovingly call her) shared some of her impressions of life at Holy Cross Monastery and the joy of the annual Pilgrimage Weekend. Mother Theodora also spoke about dealing with tragedy and loss, a topic particularly relevant, as her cell and candle factory burned down on Pentecost earlier this year.

 

I’d like to speak with you a little bit about the joy here in the monastery: it seems as though everyone is always smiling and so happy to see newcomers and guests. One always feels appreciated and welcome here.

 

Perfect! You know, it’s a reflection back and forth. The monks at the monastery have the joy. And it’s reflected in the visitors; the visitors, in turn, reflect the same joy to the monks, and you get this interaction. I’m sure that’s what happened today! I can’t explain it any other way. But it goes both ways: everybody came here with joy; they came here with smiles, and I’ve never seen this kind of interaction before.

 

The people who come here feel that: it sort of "infects" them, and you have this sort of "contagious happiness."

 

I can’t explain the joy of today. It’s almost the same joy as comes from a baptism, or even from a tonsure. You’ve heard of people after their baptism and chrismation: they feel intense joy, and that’s almost the joy that I felt here today. It’s the grace of God. But as for where it begins, if it comes from the monks or if it just comes from the clergy, I don’t know. But it was definitely here today.

 

On some level, though there is also suffering here. I know that you recently lost your cell and candle factory and, as you bore witness, were still able to find joy in it.

 

Maybe that explains how things happen here. On that particular day, it was Pentecost and I was asleep. About six o’clock in the morning and I heard noises outside, like somebody was moving something or banging things about. I thought, "Well, who is working outside, and what are they doing?" I opened my bedroom door and the hallway was filled with smoke. So I went back in and finished getting dressed, came outside, and started yelling, "Fire!" One of the novices heard me call and asked what to do, and I said, "Go and ring the big bell." And he went over and started ringing. All I had was the clothes I was wearing ‒ nothing else, except a prayer rope in my pocket. I went over and I sat down by the Cross, and you know what? I felt perfect peace. It was prayer and the Cross. And this is the Monastery of the Holy Cross. And everybody here carries a prayer rope. I’m not saying it’s just that, but for me, I haven’t felt any regrets after that. Of course, I’m sorry about the loss, but it wasn’t turmoil. There was somehow a peace that went with it, and all I can think of to explain it is the prayer rope, the Jesus Prayer, and the Cross. That’s monastic life.

 

Getting back to how the monks are able to show so much love and joy, I think it’s their prayer life, and their obedience to their superiors. They attend services, they pray, and whatever their obedience is, that’s just their obedience! There’s no turmoil that goes with it: that’s how they serve God. Whatever it is: if they have to wash dishes, if they have to feed the goats, if they’re cutting the grass, or they’re working rolling the incense. Whatever it is, that’s your obedience! I don’t know how else to explain it. I know for myself that as long as I do what I’m asked to do and I’m obedient, there’s perfect peace. But if I’m trying to follow my own will, it doesn’t turn out very well. And the monks here are very obedient, they’re very good.

 

How did that reflect itself today; what made you realize it so clearly?

 

The reason is that I felt it all day, however many people I asked: "Do you feel that this is a different Pilgrimage Weekend than others before?" and everybody has said yes. It’s the joy, and the love, and friendship, and everything that’s gone with today. I’ve never experienced anything like this. You walk along and the next person you see is going to give you a hug. Everybody who sees each other, they’re giving each other hugs and so glad to see each other, and they’re all from different places. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this before here. Maybe it has been, but I’ve never noticed. It’s just that everybody’s showing everybody so much love here today, and they’re all doing it will joy. Everybody has a smile on, everybody’s radiating joy, and I’m so glad. But that is really how everybody has been today! Again, I’ve never seen it this strongly before. I was noticing during the procession, I was watching as it was coming here, and if you see the faces, everybody’s radiating joy. There wasn’t anyone concerned with how they were walking ‒ everybody was just walking with this big smile on their faces! Now, what it is about today that’s special.

 

Maybe we don’t know why. God allowed it to happen, and the fact that various others have felt it, I think, is significant. I really think this monastery is very special. Not that I’m biased toward it, but I think a lot of that started with [diocesan secretary – ed.] Fr. Serge Lukianov talking about the monastery several years back. I didn’t know how special everything was. And it’s not that they’re trying to be special, but that’s how God worked it out. Is it [monastery abbot] Bishop George being here? I don’t know. Of course, Fr. Seraphim [(Voepel; deputy abbot) – ed.] himself, I will say, is a real icon of love, knowing how to make everyone feel wonderful. He’s always been that way. I don’t understand it, but the monastery is very special.

 

Would you say that it’s special not just for the people who come here, but do you think it’s special for the locals and those who live near the monastery?

 

Yes I do! All these churches, all these priests and faithful that were here, they didn’t used to be all that close, I don’t think, before the monastery community arrived; and the Pilgrimage Weekend brings them all together. They serve together, they share meals together, and they interact with each other. When we first came here, for the first couple years we had almost no contact with the local Orthodox, and then it finally opened up. And so, something that has always been a hallmark of this monastery is that you show all Orthodox clergy and all Orthodox laity love and respect. That’s one thing they have always done, and it has paid off thousands of times. It was done very intentionally and one who felt very strong on that was Fr. Seraphim, who wanted to make sure that the image this monastery had was that you don’t discuss jurisdictions, you don’t discuss differences about the Church or anything else; when they come here, you just accept them as an Orthodox. And this is what has paid off. And so today you had here Antiochians, Bulgarians, Carpatho-Russians, ROCOR, Patriarchal, OCA, and so on… I don’t know all the clergy that are here, but all the ones that are here, they can come here at any time and they’re always going to be shown the same love and respect. That’s really something really special about this monastery.

 

I think we in the Diocese really treasure and point out how Holy Cross Monastery can play this inter-jurisdictional role.

 

It really has! It has, when you consider the people that are here. You see, we don’t have ROCOR parishes. That is, we have a local ROCOR parish, but we don’t have many. So, with the Orthodox we have around us, we’ve made the most of it. For example, the banquet tomorrow is at Holy Spirit Antiochian Church. We have tried as much as possible to welcome and show love to all of them. And so, as a result, there are faithful from Huntington, Charleston (which has Greek and Antiochian churches), Bluefield has a Carpatho-Russian parish, Lexington has Greek and Antiochian, then there’s Fr. Justin Patterson from the OCA, and of course Louisville ‒ they showed us a little bit of love, I think they opened the door for it, and we’ve really tried to build on that and build on a good relationship on the basis of Orthodoxy.

 

On the basis of this, what can Holy Cross Monastery say to all of the Church jurisdictions?

 

Well, what should it say aside from, "It’s your Faith, not your jurisdiction?" What else can you say? It’s the Orthodox Faith, it’s the Orthodox Church; and yes, there are differences in traditions in the various parishes and communities, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get along really well. We could see this fact play out at the Episcopal Assembly a few weeks ago ‒ it just seems to me that the Orthodox are trying so hard to have a spirit of love between them, even if it doesn’t mean that they’re going to be united. And let’s not be petty about the small differences even in the way we serve. These things never come up here.

 

Whenever Holy Spirit Church has their feast day, our monks join right in; when St. George’s Church in Huntington has their feast day, some of our monks will be there for their service; or the Carpatho-Russian church in Bluefield, ours will go down there! They show us love, but we also reciprocate and support them in their efforts, as well. It’s a type of attitude this monastery wants to show, and not bicker about, let’s say, things that are not terribly important. I don’t know how it is in other churches; I hear about so many, but I know how it was when we lived in St. Louis. The churches didn’t get along with each other, and that’s really quite sad. And to come here and to see that that’s not the case, I can’t explain that, aside from God’s grace and love. It starts with that and it gets reciprocated back and forth. The monastery always makes sure, whenever there’s an icon visiting here, that all of the local churches are invited. A few years back, when the Kursk [Root Icon of the Mother of God – ed.] visited the area, you the organizers took the icon around, and the monastery was very involved with that, to make sure that it happened and united the parishes in the area.. They have been able to set a clear example, not in a prideful way, but humbly, saying, "Well, maybe we all can get along as Orthodox."

 

It strikes me as a little unusual that you’re talking with me so openly right now. I know that’s not something you do often; you’re more private, more humble, you don’t like your picture taken…

 

When I say I don’t like my photograph taken, I’m going to give you an explanation why that is. When we moved here [to Wayne from St. Louis – ed.], I was allowed to also move here, beyond the fringe, if you will, of the monastery. The instructions I was given at that time were that I would never be shown in the same photograph as monks. In fact, I made sure I had an address that was different from the monastery address, so it was shown that I was separate, and not a woman living at a male monastery. It’s been somewhat relaxed now, but I kind of kept that; regardless, it’s not forbidden for me to have my photograph taken.

 

That said, I think anyone will agree that you’re a part of the monastery’s life.

 

That I am. And I’ve been with the monastery, as you know, from day one. I was there when Fr. Cosmas was tonsured; I was there when the monastery began. It’s just very, very special. It’s not Jordanville; it’s not a lot of other places. It’s its own thing. And there is holiness here; I think that one of the best ways that’s demonstrated and proven is the joy that emanates from everybody here. They reflect that holiness, that prayer. It was very evident this weekend. I’ve never quite experienced anything like today. It’s just been different.

 

That’s not to say that previous years haven’t been as joyous, is it?

 

No! It’s just that perhaps I didn’t recognize it! You know, you have to be in the right spirit, I think, to recognize it; and part of my own sinfulness is the fact that I didn’t recognize it. So, I feel that God in His love and mercy has poured out His grace on the monastery today, and on everybody that’s here. I found it interesting, because when I started realizing this, I started asking a few people, and everybody had the same impression I did.

 

I don’t usually talk much or interact widely with visitors, but I also don’t hide myself away in the monastery. When it’s Pilgrimage Weekend, I stay right here. But today, no matter what I tried to do, I was always talking to somebody. I don’t go to the banquet; I don’t do a lot of things, because I love the peace about this place and have no desire to leave. So, in some ways, I can stand back and I kind of see things, maybe, that other people don’t see. But I spoke to some of the monastics that also were here, and they had the same feeling. The pilgrims bring a lot of grace with them, in fact. Many of them say they come here to soak up the grace of monastic life, but I think it’s a two-way street. We try to soak up as much as we can also, from the people who visit us here. What can you say about wonderful things, about a day like today? All I can say, in this particular case, as someone who has gone through something as difficult as a recent fire, where you lose everything, I mean – you have nothing except the clothes you have on, you’ve lost all of your records, you’ve lost all of your identification, you’ve lost all credit cards, you’ve lost all bank statements, everything – you can feel the peace that comes from the grace of this monastery, and it comes from the Cross of our Lord.

 

Thank you.

 

Media Office of the Eastern American Diocese